missing someone so much is like slowly dying

listening to 'letters to you' by finch
"Do you notice I'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?
I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so
I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so"

Missing someone is like being eaten alive by fire ants. You get bitten millions of times. You could feel them spreading across your body, crawling on your eyes, inside you ears, nose, mouth. You try to fight but the first thousand of bites stings like hell. And if you don't die by then, your lucky. The next bites slowly make you numb. You can feel the little devils inside you, biting, piercing, ripping, helping themselves to everything but the bone. You can feel them get into your brain. But by then, you are completely helpless. All you could do is stare blankly at one spot and just wish you were dead.

Right now I'm missing someone so much. It's been five days since we last saw each other. I can still remember how soft she felt, how silent the last bus ride was we had on the way to pier, and how serene the moment was while she was laying around my arms while I cherish every second of it for it will be awhile before another one would come. But you can't remember coz when you remember you only miss that someone even more. So what can you do? Those memories are the only ones you have that can vainly bring that someone a little closer to you, or at least that's how you feel. And so you remember but the reality that that someone isn't there still stings.

When you miss someone, that's the time when you could really study your current situation and assess every impact that that person has on you. I just realized I could spend a day just lying, not eating, just staring blankly at one spot and wish I was with her, numb and dying slowly.